How to Handle Situations With Grace

Originally published on Cleopatra's Worldwide — November 20, 2019

Lessons from Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Beyoncé and Halle Berry, on how to meet challenges with grace and keep progressing while others around you spiral.

In 1993, Ruth Bader Ginsburg became the second woman in history to be appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Throughout her journey from education to employment she encountered many people who discriminated against her because of her gender.

"I became a lawyer when women were not wanted by the legal profession. I did see myself as kind of a kindergarten teacher in those days because the judges didn't think sex discrimination existed." – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

RBG considered part of her challenge educational. She gave people the benefit of the doubt when she witnessed discrimination, considering that the offenders often weren't really aware of their own prejudices. When she got angry, she channeled it into her work and refined sharp turns of phrase which would highlight the injustice she was battling.

The first necessity to handle situations with grace, is to actually want to handle them with grace. Often our desire to communicate everything we feel overrides that. When something happens to us which feels unjust, our egos feel wounded. We want to lash out. But generally when you let your anger loose, your heart and how you feel go down rather than up. Someone acting with consideration is much more effective and more likely to have an impact.

"My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady, and the other was to be independent." – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

After the Met Ball, a video surfaced of Solange Knowles attacking her sister's husband, Jay-Z. What Beyoncé was doing was processing and communicating her response through her work — writing an album, 'Lemonade', which not only broke sales records, but communicated the reality of how she had felt through this period of time.

Jay-Z's response album, 4:44, also highlighted Halle Berry, who dealt with her ex-husband Eric Benét's infidelity publicly with remarkable grace:

"I have no further comment on this matter as I have moved on with my life. I do wish Eric well." – Halle Berry

Acting with grace is largely about focusing on what you want to happen next, rather than focusing on what has happened to you. It's about taking ownership of yourself, your emotions, and your response to a situation.

Can you be angry and gracious? Of course. Acting with grace isn't about not being angry. It's about recognising that how you use that anger will have a greater impact on you than on anyone else.

So take whatever time and solitude you need. Use a journal, use friends, read books. Remember that we are all individuals in this world, full of insecurity and ego.

Don't be bitter. Be better.