Why Successful People Are Telling You, It's About The Process

Originally published on Cleopatra's Worldwide — August 23, 2019

And how to calm down that voice obsessing over the result…

There is a moment in the film 'The Bucket List' where Morgan Freeman's voice says, "I believe that you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you." It's a slightly clunky sentence that takes a moment to digest, but when it does it becomes very powerful.

True success looks like being respected by and on a level with people you respect and would otherwise look up to.

Through books, podcasts and documentaries we get access to iconic figures and through that access have the ability to understand and learn from their processes. But there is a serious influence which can block you from being 'successful'. This influence comes from the environment you're currently in and the people you are surrounded by. These people want the best for you — which means they are ever ready to hand out advice and pass on their opinions about your attitude and approach.

Before you take on board these opinions, think for a second: whose level of achievement would you want to match in order to feel successful? If you want to be a professional tennis player, Serena Williams would probably tell you that it's a good thing to train for 7 hours a day, 6 days a week, for years.

"All I know is that I do work very, very hard. The other day I was on the court for four hours with my coach and everyone was like, 'OK, are you crazy?' No, I'm just really intense. I work really hard." – Serena Williams

Tracey Emin is a Turner Prize winning artist who grew up without constant electricity, spent large chunks of her youth homeless, but who has now sold artwork for over £1 million.

"I don't have a family life like other people do, all I have is my art. That is my obsession, not me." – Tracey Emin

It's nice to listen and feel supported by the people around you, but if they haven't achieved what you're seeking, does their opinion count for much? The writer Ryan Holiday advises: if you want to be a writer, don't do what people who want to be writers do, do what actual professional writers do.

High achieving people have lived and still live with the lifestyles that enable them to achieve all they have, without becoming miserable on the way. It is because of this reality of their lives that they will tell you "it is about the process". It is because 99% of their lives is spent in the process and 1% in the result. The 1% is public, the 99% is private.

"You have to care about your work but not about the result. You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look." – Amy Poehler